This is what leaving is like. Tomorrow will be my final day in the camp. I thought this would be an exciting moment but it's not. I've also been sick again for weeks. The conditions here are incredibly hard on the immune system. I've hardly seen Ahmad. He knows I'm leaving and I suspect knowing this builds distance between us.
Perhaps it's only the natural order of things. Eventually the story ends and all that resides is an obscure friendship, a memory of how two people found each other despite language, culture and circumstance.
All the work to get here to this day tomorrow that I am excited yet afraid to meet. The mistakes I've made throughout all this my struggle finding closure for his story, it all doesn't matter now because I can't go back. What must be accepted in this moment is the end of our story because in life there is an ending in all things.
The last two years have given me just as much as it's taken away. I've never quite figured out how to finish a project while I'm still ahead. To do so and in such a place might make me feel guilty. There must be an equal balance of give and take and when there is doubt give more than take.
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